Being a talkative girl, I often surprise people whenever they discover that I prefer to be alone. I don’t dislike people, nor hate them for existing, nor hate them being my friend. I just enjoy life being by myself ’cause that has been my life ever since.
I have a fair share of friends around me from different gender since I am not the kind of person who chooses friends. I hang out with them, go on a trip with them and share stories with them. However, they don’t know that I still value my time by myself. When I am alone, I tend to escape from the real world and have my own peaceful world… in a world where I am wanted, I am needed and valued. When I do so, I usually listen to the songs that best explains on what I dream of. Yet, I know that world will never be real.
There’s this man telling me that I have a dark personality. What he doesn’t know is the reason why I have it. Do you want to know the reason? Well, simply because I just protect myself from hurting.. Who wants to feel pain? I’ve been there for many times and I don’t want to be there again.
I want to be busy for I want to be useful to people. I’d rather not have any free time than having lots of it because when I do, I tend to feel useless, unwanted. I want to be busy so I won’t have time to think too much. Doing nothing makes me depressed and worried, and it scares me.
Guess, that guy’s right. I do have a dark personality behind this cheerful and bubbly image they see.