What makes people human? What makes the world world? What makes life a life?

Experiences make the human he is now today. Just like any other human, the things in my past are the cause of my presence now.  They shape me of who I am at the moment. I can say that it sounds impressive, but that is just a thought. Looking back, I realize that I had a better life in the past than I have now. If my life was better in the past, then what happened now? And if they say that the past molds the present, then what happens? Guess, it has something to do with my decision. Let me enlighten you with my life in the past.

I was born in an ordinary family, surrounded with love from my parents. It was such a simple life, waking up early just to go to school. My mother cooked food for us and my father woke up early to get ready to work. I am not a typical daughter that shares my emotions to anyone even in my family. I do things on my own and learn things myself. As years gone by, I learned that the people lie in some ways but I also learned that the love I have seen between my parents was the most important  and the most real thing in the world. Hence, I hold on to that. At a very young age, I fell in love with the idea of falling in love.

As I grew up, I met different people, had different experiences and learned different things. Then, realization came into my senses that reference experience is the best experience. I consider that those experiences, whether good or bad, as the basis of my decision. I’ve been independent in making my own decision for my parents wanted me to learn by myself, though they still guided in doing so. Because of that, I thought this life was perfect and I couldn’t ask for more.

It was one unfateful day that changes everything. My mom left us after more than a week of fighting for her life. She left us broken even my father. It was so painful that I couldn’t even feel anything. I was numb. I wasn’t sad nor happy nor depressed. It was just plain emptiness. It is as if there was a huge lump in my throat, a deep wound in my heart and a malignant tumor in my brain. I couldn’t process anything. I felt like I died a thousand times pieces by pieces that time. That day I saw how great love was. My dad never left beside my mom. He promised to her that she would be his forever. That no othe love could warm his heart and that no other love could replace her in his heart. It was a promise of forever. But, that promise was never kept. It’s as if it was meant to be forgotten.

After that incident, I tried to live a life I had before. However, it’s different. It is not as what I thought it would be. I was a girl full of happiness and positive outlook in life. But,everything was changed.

I became a human with no emotion. I am crying yet no sadness. I am laughing yet no happiness. I am angry with no anger nor rage. Now, tell me, “What makes me a human?? Or Am I still human?”